


Starlight

by just_chiara



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Comment Fic, Community: morgan_reidkink, Established Relationship, M/M, Slash, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-26
Updated: 2012-05-26
Packaged: 2017-11-06 01:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/413376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_chiara/pseuds/just_chiara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid hits his head on a case and when he wakes up he doesn't remember anything that happened in the past eight years. Including Morgan, his boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Morgan/Reid Kink and Prompt Meme #1.

_Far away  
This ship is taking me far away  
Far away from the memories  
Of the people who care if I live or die_

_I’ll never let you go  
If you promise not to fade away, never fade away_  
(Starlight, Muse) 

 

**Day 1**

Spencer - _his Spencer_ \- was sitting cross-legged on the hospital bed, eagerly reading a book by one David Rossi. A book he should know by heart and had, in fact, quoted word by word more than once, and that he was now reading like he’d never seen it before.

He had to be ready, he’d said. He was starting a new job, his first job, soon. There was just some more paperwork that needed to be done, and then he would start his training. He’d smiled, then. A smile full of hope and excitement. A smile Derek Morgan remembered from the first day he’d met doctor Reid.

As far as Spencer remembered, that hadn’t happened yet. He had absolutely no idea who Derek was. His body still bore the scars of the past eight years, but his mind… his mind was stuck back to his last days as a student.

They’d told him, of course, that it was 2012. That he’d been an agent with the BAU for almost eight years now. That he’d met, worked, and become friends with David Rossi. That he’d been in a relationship with Derek for five years.

It hadn’t been hard to make him believe that they were telling him the truth. But he still didn’t remember the last eight years. He still didn’t remember Derek.

 

**Day 3**

Physically, he was fine. His ribs were still bruised, but they’d heal soon. He just had to take it easy.

Physically, there was nothing wrong with him. But his mind was refusing to let him access any information about the last eight years. And that scared him to death, Derek could see it on his face.

He was used to remembering every single detail. He could tell you exactly what the newspaper said on the day of his 16th birthday, down to the last article. And yet he couldn’t even remember meeting any of the people that were there for him.

Derek had stopped telling him stories in the hope he would remember something. He hated seeing Spencer so frustrated at himself, so scared. Also, he knew sooner or later he would have to stop telling happy tales and start with the bad ones.

And, well, okay, maybe he was scared as well. While he didn’t try to make Spencer remember, he could think that all he had to do was tell him everything and the memories would magically come back to him. If he actually did, he might find out that those memories were gone forever.

He wasn’t quite ready to deal with that possibility, to be honest.

So he was hiding his head under the sand. So what? He had a right to do that, at least for a while.

 

**Day 4**

“Will you tell me, now?”

Derek looked up from the FBI file he was going through. He was trying to get some work done while Spencer was asleep. He hadn’t realized the younger man had woken up.

“Tell you what, Pretty Boy?”

Spencer shifted uncomfortable under the blankets at the nickname. Derek decided he didn’t care. He’d been calling him Pretty Boy since before they were even together, before he even started flirting with him. He’d already given up Baby. Spencer could deal with being called ‘pretty’.

“Why I can’t take any painkillers. My ribs _hurt_. You said you’d tell me in a few days and it’s been a few days.”

Putting the folder aside, Derek sighed. “Years ago, you had some problems with addiction.”

“I figured that much. I want to know the rest.”

Derek leaned over and pushed the chair he was sitting in closer to the hospital bed. This was going to be a hard conversation, but he couldn’t avoid it any longer. It wasn’t like he could shelter Spencer from his past forever. He needed to know. 

 

**Day 7**

Spencer was looking around the room wide-eyed and clearly struggling to remember even the smallest piece of information. Unsuccessfully, it seemed. And really, it took all of Derek’s strength not to wrap his arms around him to offer some kind of comfort. But touching wasn’t something this younger Spencer was comfortable with, so instead he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“So this where we live?”

Before Derek had a chance to reply, Clooney came out of the kitchen ran towards Spencer happily waging his tail, making Spencer stumble back, scared. Derek caught him by the arm just in time and steadied him. “Clooney, stay!”

The dog obeyed, but looked at his owner quite confused.

Derek decided he had bigger problems right now. “Spencer, it’s okay. This is Clooney. He’s just happy to see you. I’ll take him outside, okay?”

Spencer nodded and crossed his arms over his chest, wincing slightly at his still-sore ribs.

“I’ll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. C’mon, Cloon, let’s go.”

When he came back into the living room a few minutes later, he had to smile at the sight of Spencer going through all the titles of the books on the bookshelf. “There’s a lot more in the spare room,” he said.

Spencer turned around quickly and looked at him almost guiltily, as though he’d been caught on going through a stranger’s personal stuff. And, Morgan thought, it kind of was from his point of view.

“It’s alright. It’s your house, too.”

Spencer looked down and shuffled his feet. “Garcia told me I still have my own apartment,” he said, almost as if it was a question.

“You do. But you barely spend any time there at all. I mean, we never made it official, but you’re living here with me.” Morgan tried to read his expression. Sometimes he almost felt guilty, because he could read him all too well and it didn’t seem fair to him. “I can drive you there if you prefer,” he offered.

For a moment, Spencer looked like he was about to say yes. But when he actually spoke, he said he’d rather stay.

 

**Day 10**

Derek closed the front door behind him and took off his jacket. “Hey, Spencer? I’m home.”

He took off his jacket and climbed the stairs to the bedroom. Spencer was sitting on the floor, surrounded by stacks of papers, books and photographs. When he heard Derek coming in, he looked up at him. “I’m going through my diaries and all the copies of the letters I wrote my mother,” he explained. “I guess it’s a good thing I kept a diary. There are some weeks missing here and there, but I have a pretty good idea of what happened now.”

Moving some papers aside, Derek sat down on the floor next to Spencer. “What year are you reading of?”

“Oh, I’m almost caught up. Reading about the last three years has been much faster: there are fewer and shorter entries. I guess I was talking to you about what was going on instead of writing it.”

Derek smiled, teasingly. “Talking. Yeah, we did that as well, sometimes.”

The confused expression on Spencer’s face painfully reminded him that this was Spencer 1.0: any references to sex were lost on him.

They were silent for a while. Derek was looking at a few pictures, while Spencer was lost in his thoughts.

“You lied about Gideon,” he said after a while. There was no anger or accusation in his tone. It was more like a scientific observation.

“I didn’t lie. I told you he left the BAU, and that’s true.”

“You didn’t tell me _how_ he left. Or that we never heard from him again.”

Derek didn’t fail to notice how he’d used ‘we’ and not ‘I’. It was a good sign. “I would have… eventually.”

Spencer nodded. “I know it’s hard for you too. When my mother thought I was one of her students, or didn’t recognize me at all… I _know_ it’s hard,” he said, without looking at him. Derek missed eye-contact. He missed touching Spencer, holding him, making love to him, sleeping in the same bed. But this, a real conversation, was a start.

“It’ll be okay,” Derek said. And for the first time, he actually believed it.


End file.
